Monday, April 29, 2013
Sunday, April 28, 2013
Every day, I find something to remind me that I'm not meant to have more than one child, and my reaction fluctuates between sadness, self pity, self loathing, anger, rage...you get the idea. My least favorite saying, but oh-so-usable in cases like this: it is what it is. Sigh.
As much as the kiddo brings to me in terms of challenge, fulfillment, pride, and amazement of my own abilities, I can't help but feel that we are missing something big. All at once, a baby, a sibling, a family member, a son or daughter...I don't know. But I definitely do know that cancer robbed me of the right to live a full and lengthy life and I no longer get to imagine things as the might be. Instead, I'm trying as hard as I can to do the best with what I have.
Kind of a different way of looking at life and parenting.
Saturday, April 27, 2013
The perfect holiday for kids and man-children everywhere, last night we experienced our first family Lag B'omer on a cliff overlooking the Mediterranean, with the whole family, and roasted hot dogs and potatoes and marshmallows until the 5 year olds fell asleep, coated in charred sugar, nestled on Safta's lap.
It was so fun to experience a new Israeli tradition--after 13 years, it is sometimes hard to find something that reminds me how different from us Americans the land and people of Israel seemed before I joined an Israeli family. The wide-eyed awe and astonishment I felt during my first trip to Israel is a far cry from how I now approach a trip to Israel--which involves more eye-rolling than I'd like to admit. But tonight's festivities made me feel young again; for a few hours there, I was back in that place when I thought Israel was amazing and cosmopolitan and a great place to raise a family and not at all a humid, sweltering, dusty sprawl of annoying music and horrible fashion trends, before I had experienced the paralyzing fear of driving ANYWHERE in the country. I can usually overlook the horrible truth and embrace the seaside-y-ness, the amazing cheese and dozens of street cats, and tonight's bonfire reinvigorated my fondness for this place and it's corn-topped pizzas and myriad ice cream stands.
Friday, April 26, 2013
Wednesday, April 24, 2013
Tuesday, April 23, 2013
And now for your enjoyment, here is an old blog post from my December 2006 trip to Israel.
Monday, April 22, 2013
I'm not sure why I've been forgetting to blog lately, but I'm guessing it's television related. I've been watching a lot of Power Puff Girls (kiddo) and Bob's Burgers (me). We've been minus a housemate since Friday, and I've noticed an uptick on the TV watching scale. Its not that we've been less active, but the dynamic is totally different between a 5-year old and a parent. I no longer out number him. And he knows it. And sometimes that means an extended cartoon marathon or cereal for dinner --them's the breaks.
Saturday, April 20, 2013
Mom, I can already hear you snickering.
It's not that they weren't good dogs, because they were. But at the top of the stairs, they found a deer and they, well, acted like dogs. And the deer acted like a deer. It bounded (yes I'm using "bound" again. It fits.) down the side of the stairs with Fizzy hot on it's tail and Turkey coming in from the side. Fizzy stopped at the landing, and I, by the grace of god, was able to catch Turkey's collar as she barreled through the ivy.
Unfortunately, the story does not end here. Because as soon as the kiddo and I escorted the dogs into the house, Turkey slid right back out the door, ran down the stairs, and completely tore ass down the road after the deer. So I sighed a big sigh, put my stuff down and got ready to walk down my street for essentially no reason, in false hope that she would listen when I called her, even if she weren't halfway to Los Angeles by then. When Turkey gets out, she likes to make the most of it.
This time, she was back before I even got down the stairs, and trotted up to me proudly wagging her tail. I got lucky. And I doubt we'll be seeing any deer for a few days.
Thursday, April 18, 2013
Right around Max's birthday next month, The Presidents of the United States of America are playing in SF, so I went crazy and got us VIP tickets. That's right, we get to attend the sound check, meet AND greet the band, plus we get autographed CDs and laminated lanyards. The REAL DEAL.
I'm really actually very excited and listening to them nonstop on Spotify today. It's a little bit high school, it's a little bit college years--and 100% good times to be had. What could possibly go wrong?
Wednesday, April 17, 2013
Tuesday, April 16, 2013
Monday, April 15, 2013
Sunday, April 14, 2013
In the next room, Max and Samson are playing a goodnight game called ''neighbors.'' Created by the five-year-old, its a game where two neighbors discuss their days, what they've been up to, how the kids are, how work's going.
I have never been allowed to play.
From what I can tell, the kiddo just quit his job, and he's about to go on a 15 week trip to Israel. He has a new job at his neighbor's company, where they make soap cookies and kid-appropriate army books. His kids are finishing school tomorrow, and this will involve a great deal of cake.
I'm pretty sure that having a kid is the most terrible and wonderful thing that could ever happen to anybody. Anyone who's had a kid knows its really a crap shoot--no matter how much planning, preparation, praying or wishing one does, you still end up with a tiny version of yourself, one that regularly holds an emotionally jarring mirror up to your anxious face. At times, what you see in the mirror will fill your eyes with tears of pride. Other times, which is to say most times, it will scare the bejesus right out of you.
Friday, April 12, 2013
Thursday, April 11, 2013
Tuesday, April 09, 2013
Monday, April 08, 2013
It's been three months now since I started blogging again. Almost every single day. Sometimes just a sentence or a link, sometimes some serious and internal stuff. I'm relearning how to use words that have been lost to me got 3 1/2 years. Even more so, I'm remembering who I am out here and how I express myself. What do I think and why? Does it even matter?
Friday, April 05, 2013
That being said, when I do get to meet the little devil, it will likely be in upstate New York at my mom's family's cabin, which is, shall we say, rustic. I'm pretty sure the wall are made of construction paper. So we all know this post will come back to haunt me about 7 times.
Thursday, April 04, 2013
It's been a long week, all post-vacation and what not. What not = a shaved kiddo head, among other things. Here's a song that fits this blog post and the way I feel to a tee.
Wednesday, April 03, 2013
We took the easy way out. No more combing, untangling, or screaming ("I've got a very sensitive scalp." he likes to remind me.). And we'll only have to buy shampoo like twice before he graduates high school.
There was no walk of shame when I went to pick the kiddo up at school after THE PHONE CALL. Today was the first day back after a 2 week vacation, and there were a decent sized handful of kids in the office, scratching their heads. At least we weren't the only ones, not even the only ones in his class, leaving much less of a chance for ostracization. It's not that we hadn't noticed his itchiness over the break, and I checked for lice many times. The problem is, I was looking for fleas. I was looking for something flea-sized, anyway, on his scalp. I've only ever had cats and dogs, and flea checks are a regular occurrence. But Samson is my first human pet, and it turns out that I simply didn't know what I was looking for or where. Once the professional head-examiner at school pointed out all the nits to me, it was like HOLY SHIT MY CHILD'S HEAD IS INFESTED and WE NEED TO BURN ALL OF HIS SHEETS AND CLOTHES IMMEDIATELY.
Thankfully, it doesn't really work that way. And best of all, I get to see the kid's forehead for the first time in 3 1/2 years.
Tuesday, April 02, 2013
Underground, below Pioneer Square:
Yay, the Space Needle:
I wasn't even sure the camera would still work; it's been in a box of camera crap and knitting junk for a good 4 years, and lord knows where I even got the film or when. But I'm inspired to keep shooting and to explore some of the other goodies in that box that's been on the shelf for way too long...ignored, scoffed at, and all but forgotten. Cross your fingers for the Holga, the Quad Cam, the color splash flash and brand spanking new Sardina which I got for my birthday but still haven't opened. Now, in unison, let's all squeal with anticipatory glee! Eeeeeeee!