Thursday, January 31, 2008

This is not a Mommy Blog

Oh, wait. Crap.

Those poor, poor dogs. The cats are used to it, but the dogs were always center stage. Eventually the baby will stop doing cute things allllllllll the time and I'll remember how Nanna has been my best friend for over 11 years and how Ozzy has consistently provided me with hours of entertainment, if not headaches and an ulcer.

I'm so ashamed. I didn't even post about the lumps. That's right--two for Nanna and one for Ozzy. (They were all either fatty tumors or benign sarcomas, so we came out ahead in that match.) Nor did I post about the bangs (I got BANGS last week. The jury is still out, waaay out.) Honestly, what kind of person have I become? I person with lumpy dogs and a questionable hair do, apparently.

It's a lethal combination of spending 24/7 with Samson and...spending 24/7 with Samson. Makes for some difficult blogging. Either type one-handed--and I have a hard enough time typing with both hands--or use my precious sleeping baby time to blog, laundry and hygiene be damned. And even if I did blog more, there's not much to blog about other than my fleshy pink master. I could blog about the social hierarchy of my Friday afternoon playgroup. Did you know that infant playgroups have cliques? It's absolutely ridiculous. Or I could blog about the wonders of Baby Einstein videos and damn how I wish they had these when I was in high school. But it all comes back to Samson.

And poor Nanna, she knows it. She's lying on the floor, looking up at me with those big brown eyes. Do you even know where my belly is?

But I've got to make more of an effort, for the sake of my own identity. Wait, I do have an identity, right? Or did I loose it in that pile of onsies waiting to be laundered?

Wednesday, January 30, 2008

Don't switch the blade on the guy in shades

Mmmmmm, nice and sunny today. Damn cold, but a gorgeous blue sky and big bright sun. It was the perfect opportunity to try out Samson's new 100% UV ray blocking sunglasses on our walk.

Of course, he hates them. HATES THEM. Good thing he's just a baby and I can still boss him around. As soon as he can eat vegetables, I will so totally make him.

Lots of excitement coming up in the Extra Super Fantastic household. Samson's Uncle from Israel is coming for a visit this weekend, then Dad is off to Disneyland--and Samson and I will not be joining him, boo hoo. Then Brooklyn Uncle comes to visit, and pretty soon we'll be flying to Chicago to meet Samson's Great Grandma.

But first things first. Mommy gets to go out and play this weekend. And by play I mean get drunk with Ira and avoid getting hit in the head with a wind instrument.

Friday, January 25, 2008

Obsess much?

I spent my birthday dyeing more yarn. It's dried, skeined and photographed and up on my Etsy store now. You know what else is dried, skeined and photographed? Samson.

Things weren't always this great between me and the kid. There was that one time a couple of days ago when I sneezed.

See, I have this fear (what? really?) that if I don't let everything out when I sneeze, my retinas will detach. (Thanks, mom!) Well, to Samson, sneezing is just about the worst thing you can do. Especially when you do it loudly, and when you forget that the baby doesn't like it. And you sneeze loudly in the same room as the baby. And then instead of picking him up immediately to comfort him, you take his picture. And maybe you laughed a little bit because his face just got so damn red. Hmmm. Mother of the year, anyone?

Tuesday, January 22, 2008

It's OK to like fuschia

Oh boy! My first batch of dyes came last week, and I got to play with them over the weekend while DKL entertained the young one. Wow, I forgot how much I LOVE to dye wool. Something about technocolor cuticles and the smell of wet sheep.

The fruits of my labor are up in Extra Super Fantastic's Etsy Shop. Yum!

Wednesday, January 16, 2008

Vote No on Prop 124-B: The Sock Enforcement Proposition

This message was paid for by the Council for No Socks, the Sock Reformation Board and the Foundation for a Sockless Tomorrow and approved by the Babyville Department of Socks and Sock Removal.

The time has come to rise up against the tyranny of foot confinement! It was bad enough when our parents imposed the Toe Restriction Act of 2007 (TRA) which required feet to be enclosed within socks or footy pajamas nearly 100% of the time. The TRA was unfair and unjust then, and it's unfair and unjust now, almost three months later. We've all heard the promises from our "loving" parents: "Just wait until Summer, sweetie. Then you can have bare feet. It's just too cold right now." Do they think we're stupid? Do they think we've never heard of global warming?

The TRA was bad enough. But now they're taking it too far. The Sock Enforcement Proposition will allow parents to require us to wear SHOES over our socks, further restricting our right to bear feet. If this proposition passes, the efforts of the Toe Liberation Front will be effectively cut in half, and all actions taken on behalf of toes and feet everywhere to quickly and repeatedly remove socks will be halted as we figure a new way to remove these damn shoes first.

All hope is not lost. Great strides have been made in ongoing studies of the removal of many types of footwear, and new studies are being funded into the prevention of footwear in general. The maniacal-kicking-to-reduce-footy-pajama-usage study has been underway for over a week now, and the results appear to be promising. One of our field operatives has sent in this photo, which we believe to be undoctored:

This is proof positive that shoe prevention is possible. Together, we can prevent the spread of this injustice. Together, we can end the use of socks and shoes in our lifetime. Together, we can free our toes from their socky prison and let them breathe fresh air as god intended.

Remember, vote NO on PROP 124-B. If the shoe fits, kick it off.

Tuesday, January 15, 2008

The stuff nightmares are made of

Can't blog. Hard to type. Must hold baby. MUST. HOLD. BABY.

Here is video #2 that was promised last week. I told you.

When Max went to Las Vegas on business last week, I told him that he had to bring something home for Samson.

I didn't mean this.


Friday, January 11, 2008

Etsy Update

Wow, you guys really cleaned me out. Thanks to everyone who picked up some yarn, and thanks to those of you told friends about the store...word of mouth rocks! I'm going to try and get some more yarn spun this weekend, and hopefully I'll be able to add two or three skeins a week to the's modest, but it really keeps me sane. I love to spin, and I love it even more that you guys are making stuff with my yarn. This really kicks ass.

I'll try to get video number two that I alluded to yesterday posted this afternoon--it's worth waiting for. Trust me.

Thursday, January 10, 2008

Video Number One

First of two videos I intend to post today. Sadly, video number two will be much more disturbing than this one.

(Via Clamhead)

Second Chance at Hockey

Before anyone corrects my last post (mom), it turned out that I was lucky and had misread the schedule--no Sharks game last night, it's tonight instead. Because I would have hated to have missed the game in order to find out that Smells Like Teen Spirit was the number one song of the nineties. Apparently. I'm not sure I can argue with that, no matter how much I want to.

Wednesday, January 09, 2008

Licky Boom Boom Down

No Law and Order for me tonight. Not even the Sharks/Canucks game in HD. Why? VH1 is running the Top 100 Songs of the Nineties. Ahem.

You knew Informer would be up there. Mamma Said Knock You Out, no duh. But Cannonball? That was a pleasant surprise.

So why am I blogging instead of watching Top 100 Songs of the Nineties, entries 43-1? Even I have to pee sometimes, and the computer room is situated between the couch and the bathroom.

Why didn't I roll my eyes when Color Me Badd came on and turn to the hockey game instead? Can't. Stop. Watching. Commercials are only for getting more Skinny Cow ice cream sandwiches and making sure that my baby is still breathing.

Tuesday, January 08, 2008

Etsy Super Fantastic

So have you noticed that new sidebar element? To the right? Below the links to other blogs and above the archives? The Extra Super Fantastic Etsy store is now open for business! If you are a knitter, crocheter, weaver, or some other type of yarn user, or know someone who is, you'll want to check out the yarns I've been spinning. They're mostly wool, and only a handful of skeins are in the store right now, but I hope to be adding new yarns often--as often as Samson gives me time to spin them. I've really been enjoying spinning them, and I hope you enjoy making wonderful things with them. I'm going to start dyeing soon, too, so keep your eye out for that.

Sneak Preview

My good pal LDB has been visiting for the past few days, getting a glimpse of what life will be like for her come late April. Here's to Samson's little future playmate in Portland, Oregon! May you take it easy on your mommy and daddy; they're nice people.

Samson certainly had his best face forward for our first overnight house guest since his arrival. And by "best," of course I mean "crybabyiest." I won't lie to you. Something happened on January 1st, and apparently Samson hates 2008. I may be exaggerating slightly, but the boy has spent a considerable amount of time in the last week crying, spitting up, and getting ready to cry. To be fair, I'm comparing this new Angry Baby Syndrome to weeks of a quiet, watchful, sleepy baby, so any amount of crying or unsettledness will translate from my perspective as wrathful baby vengeance for something I must have done to displease him. But, thankfully, he's still sleeping all night, saving his energy so he can cry and spit up on me.

Wednesday, January 02, 2008

Samson: Month Two

Two months old! Amazing! What a terrific month it's been. First bath, first smile, first night out for mommy and daddy...

Month two started out with a serious growth spurt that seems to have carried on throughout December--he's been putting on about a pound a week. When we go to the doctor on Friday for his 2 month check up, I'm betting dollars to donuts that he hits 13 pounds.

Mmmmmm, donuts.

All that weight gain caused a shortage of baby clothes, not to mention a pile of too-small diapers. He outgrew both the newborn and size 1 diapers this month, and he's mostly wearing his 3 month-sized clothes now. Some of his favorites are the Sutro Tower shirt from Uncle Paul and Kristy in Brooklyn, and the stripy terrycloth dinosaur snuggy. Can an infant have favorite articles of clothing?

We started to get comfortable with leaving the house this month. We took Samson to his first restaurant--Black Angus, because every 5 week old baby loves a good top sirloin--and to our first mommy and me type of group at the local hospital. I continued my blatant disregard for nearby diners by taking him to more restaurants throughout the month: The Planning Shop's annual holiday luncheon at Left Bank, lunch with Dana at Modern Tea ("It's not called Modern Coffee"), a sushi outing with 5 other couples and 3 other babies, none of whom we'd ever met before (intrigued? More on that later), and last but not least, breakfast at Ihop. Most surprising, we got comfortable leaving the house without Samson, and went on TWO date nights while the grandparents completed their re-education in diapering.

We went to San Francisco a few times this month, and Samson got to meet a lot of his honorary aunts and uncles for the first time. Hopefully, we have successfully fooled our age appropriate coupled friends into thinking that babies are all sunshine and lollipops, and they will start popping out little playmates for Samson 9 months from now.

His first smiles started coming this month, too. It's the best. thing. ever. He's still making us work for them; there's more funny face making and bleh-bleh-blehing than I care to admit, but it's fantastic when he throws us a bone. Equally as fantastic are his sleeping habits. We began doing the bedtime routine early in the month. We knew that he wouldn't be sleeping any differently, it was more to get him and us used to a routine so that when he was able to sleep longer, he'd already have a familiar set of cues that would help him know it was time to do so. Who knew that time would come so soon! Go ahead and hate us, but our awesome little baby has been sleeping through the night for almost three weeks now. I once heard a statistic that all mothers lie about when their baby starts sleeping through the night--"through the night" is defined as five hours, by the way. I swear to you, I am NOT LYING. Samson regularly sleeps for 7-10 hours at night. It's fantastic. I don't know how long it will last--could this be some sort of wonderful flukey phase?--so I thank my lucky stars every time I wake up and the sun has already begun to rise and the baby's quietly sleeping in the next room. This is what heaven must be like.

This has also been the month for noticing the animals. Samson has begun to really enjoy staring at Ozzy and Miru in particular. He's also started to make little cooing noises, lots of "oh" and "ooh" types of sounds. And then there's the grabbing. Of course, we consider all of these to be signs of great intelligence and have already enrolled him in advanced placement calculus classes.

This month also saw the triumphant forward-facing usage of the Baby Bjorn, and a blossoming love of hand-eating, which are, like, the two cutest things on the face of the planet. Obviously, it's been quite a month. It's been a lot closer to what I think of as "normal" than the first month was, and I'm betting that this trend will continue. It's really sinking in: I'm a Mom. This is my Son. This is who I am now. It's not the only thing that I am, but it's a pretty big thing, and it's a pretty new thing. And I think it's a pretty damn great thing.