Only if they invent animal-gluten-sugar-alchohol-caffeine-free bacon

A couple weeks ago, Max and I decided to stop eating meat for a little while. We are not, however, totally nuts, so we kept seafood on the menu. To go from being carnivorous monsters to all out vegetarian so quickly would surely shock our fragile systems, sending us into a deadly tailspin of tofu and brown rice.

A couple of weeks ago. Feels like a damn eternity. And when Max reads this post, he will become aware of the fact that there may have been just a *teensy* bit of cheating up in Portland, but he'll still love me. Because he knows how hard it's been for me to give up turkey sandwiches. Ahem.

It's actually been pretty great. Not great eating or tasting (although not horrible by any means), but great feeling. Like I can actually do something different and leave my comfort zone. But the reality is, I'm not leaving my comfort zone. I'm leaving my bacon-steak-turkey comfort zone and settling nicely into my pasta-cheese-pie-potato-chip comfort zone. And how, exactly, does that involve important things like "doing the right thing" or "being a better person" or "living more healthfully?" Granted, not eating animals (except fish, yes) is all of these things. In fact, this whole challenge started when we watched Babe recently (who knew bacon was so damn cute??). But It hasn't given me the sense of hope and accomplishment that I thought it would, the hope that I could loose some goddamn weight and that I could have more energy and that I could feel better about myself. It's hard to have hope for these things when dinner has 3 different types of (delicious) full fat cheeses in it and and a quarter cup of brown sugar. So I like my pasta sauce sweet, you wanna make something of it?

Then Dooce and Mighty Girl jumped on the Oprah train and I'll be darned if I'm not thinking about trying this 21 day cleanse thing, too. Minus the meditation and visualization. Cause that's not how I roll.

Of course, all of this comes up right when I'm getting ready to start giving meat to the baby. If I can't have turkey sandwiches or bacon, I'll make sure he gets all of the turkey sandwiches and bacon in the world.

You're so cute, I could eat you up...how many points are you?

I've gone and joined Weight Watchers. Yup. I'm going to try and get rid of some of this baby weight. Then I'm going to try to drop the "I'm leaving Ireland soon so I better get my fill of curry fries" weight. Then I'll try to loose the Turkey, France, Italy and Portugal weight. Then I'll work on the "I'm leaving San Francisco to live in Ireland for a year so I better get my fill of Raja's Indian Pizza" weight. I mean come on, they have pizza with tandoori on it. It's especially good when dipped in chicken tikka sauce. And they deliver. Sigh.

I've heard good things about people's experience with the whole points system, especially after having a baby. So far, I like keeping track of all of the points. It's like a game. A game where I go to bed hungry and dream about cheeseburgers.

It's working well with the Disneyland trip; I get to set two-month short term goals, like fitting into pre-pregnancy clothes and getting to the point where I eat 3 different kinds of veggies each day. And I can celebrate my inevitable success with cotton candy! Can you say counter-productive?

On a completely unrelated note, I discovered today while listening to Andrew Bird that I only like "blues" music when the part traditionally played by the harmonica is played by a violin or a trumpet or some other horn, but not a saxophone. I found this to be interesting and enlightening.

I Demand Satisfaction

Ooooh, I've got Turkey on the brain, in more ways than one. I simply can't wait to go to Bitez and Bodrum! Snorkeling! Lounging! Dolmas! Turkish Delight! Only 14 more days! I also simply can't wait to have a Beli Deli turkey sandwich! The oven roasted turkey! The soft french roll! The tomatoes! Only 54 more days! Yum!

Other US-centric cravings:
Froot Loops
Thai food
Chorizo Burritos

Scottish Road Trip

It turns out that I was quite ambitious in my Scottish trip planning, as far as distances between destinations go. We did a ton of driving over the bank holiday weekend, and we saw an awful lot of Scotland. The iPod rwally came in handy, providing us with 3 days of extra super fantastic driving tunes, from Weezer to Neil Diamond to David Bowie to Neko Case. Of course, it was amazing! We spent most of the time in Highlands which is known as the UK's wilderness area. There were tons of lochs, dozens of castles and ruins, and copious amounts of sheep and pheasants. Pictures are up at Picasa Web, and I apologize for the obvious lack of sheep.



On Saturday, we took the ferry from Northern Ireland to Southern Scotland and proceeded to drive up the west coast along Loch Lomond to the lower-to-central Highlands, spending the night in a wonderful hotel in Ballachulish. Max encouraged me to try the haggis, and I have to admit, it was pretty darn tasty. I won't be rushing over to the interweb to look for any recipes, but I did enjoy it.



Sunday was whiskey day, and we drove through the Highlands up to Loch Ness and east to the River Spey where a good deal of Scottish single malt whiskey is distilled. On the way to our first distillery tour of the day, we stopped on the Glenlivet estate for Max to try his hand at clay pigeon shooting. (No clay pigeons we're harmed, but Max's shoulder is a bit worse for wear.) We toured The Glenlivet and Glenfiddich distilleries, learning the intricate differences between Scottish and Irish whiskey--Max is a total expert at this point. We also happened upon the annual Speyside Whiskey Festival which brought together a lot of smaller, independent distilleries--and more tasting. It was beautiful driving, and a lot of fun. To top it all off, we stayed the night in an old castle that had been converted into a hotel. It was really something special, and the grounds were astounding, not to mention the food and hospitality.



We started off bright and early Monday morning to make the long drive down through Braemor, Perth, and Glasgow back to the west coast to catch out ferry back to Northern Ireland. The weather was dramatic and mixed, with lots of heavy spells of rain and bright sun and rainbows all over. We drove the last leg down from Belfast to Dublin and arrived home as two very tired, but very happy and satisfied road trippers.

Next trip: Bodrum, Turkey in a few weeks, followed by Spain in June.

Eastward and Upwards

We're off to Scotland tomorrow morning, bright and early. We'll be driving up to the North then taking the ferry across form there. Then it's on to the Highlands (there can be only one) for whiskey tasting, haggis eating, and castle sleeping-in-ing. Huzzah!

And then, of course, there's the elusive scotch egg.

Don't You Forget About Me

Boy, have I ever been MIA. Incommunicado. Fallen off the face of the earth. And what's worse, I've left that clip from the Sarah Silverman Program as my last post for people to see when they check in on the blog. Not my finest bit of blogging. Oh well.

I've been in San Francisco since Friday (technically, Foster City and Palo Alto), and the weather alone has made me consider skipping out on my flight back to Dublin on Sunday. 70's and 80's, clear blue skies--flip flop weather. It's been great being back in the office this week, actually seeing and talking to people during the day. It's a big change from my life as a Dublin hermit, and a very healthy addition to my daily routine. As much as I'll miss Ireland and Europe, I'm looking forward to coming back to a place where I can interact with friends and family on a level other than email and long-distance, time-zone impaired phone calls.

Lots of extra super fantastic things have happened since I got here. Beli Deli sandwiches. An A+ grade on my checkup at the dentist. More Nanna belly than you can shake a stick at. Alaskan King Crab legs. Pie day. Sharks hockey. Hugs from my local nearest and dearest. And even though my peeps in Oregon, Texas, Colorado and Minnesota aren't represented, I feel a little closer to them than normal.

Excuse my absence

My triumphant return to Dublin has been mildly hampered by a sore throat and head cold (courtesy of the always-generous Max). Ugh. But I'm definitely on the mend, and I have a feeling that the package I got from LDB today will help speed up the healing process: bear pepperoni and venison sausage, the spoils of the Kisor's hunting trip last fall! I'm really excited to try it, albeit in a mildly disturbing way.

Speaking of mildly disturbing: pictures from Walt Disney World on Picasa Web.

And a very happy to birthday today to my brother--have a beer on me!

Cranium Insanium

So we had some friends over last night for delicious delicious lasagna and a rousing game of Cranium. My team kicked Max's team's ass. Yeah.

But wait! There's more!

We had purchased the Cranium game in Ireland, see, so the questions were all weird and Irish (and English--to be fair, I think it was actually a UK version of the game). I had to act out things like "bubble and squeak"--muh??--which is apparently some kind of food involving mashed potatoes and coleslaw--I repeat, muh??? The questions were all about premiership football and Irish horse racing and where Mick Jagger went to college. Talk about feeling like a stranger in a strange land. Take something that I'm really good at and feel comfortable with--Cranium, for example--and change it just enough so that I feel like I'm playing Cranium but in some weird Taco Bell-induced dream.

Did I mention that my team won? Kicked ass over Max's loser team. Yeah.

Food makes me happy

It's no secret: I love me some food. The Irish are not known for their culinary prowess, although I do enjoy the odd shepherd's pie or bowl of farmer's vegetable soup at the pub. I knew that when I came to spend a week in SF it would be not unlike a sampling of all the foods I had ever loved. A veritable smorgasbord of tasties. So far, I've dined happily on a chorizo burrito from Pancho Villa, Chinese chicken salad from Max's, Thai red curry, gyros, hummus, tiny cheeseburgers from Cheesecake Factory (a delicacy) and sushi (twice in one day!). I still need to track down the elusive turkey on a soft french roll from Beli Deli, but that's hard even when I live here.

Next stop: Armadillo Willy's!

The Blog is Back

(Warning: this entry contains graphic images that may offend some sensitive readers. Approximately eight fish were harmed in the creation of this entry.)

After seven glorious days at Arnold Lake, I am enjoying the amenities and air conditioning in my hotel room in our nation's capitol, Washington DC. Let me just say, there is nothing like spending your days swimming, canoeing, and walking around the lake. Here are a few pictures to prove it:



There was much paddling of the canoe. It's just like riding a bike! But wetter.



And where's there's a lake, there's fish!



Thankfully, where there's fish, our neighbor Chuck is close at hand to do the dirty work:



Now that's good eatin'.



We left it all behind today as we boarded the plane from Albany to Washington.



We are now enjoying the beautiful yet muggy Crystal City area, complete with underground mall, metro stop, and lovely fountains.



Soon, I will have remembered how to post blog entries that are more than just pictures. I promise.

Is it food or art?

As part of the week-long celebration known as Max's birthday, we had dinner at Benihana this week. What hibachi-style dinner show would be complete with out the Onion Volcano? Our chef took it one step further by topping the aforementioned Onion Volcano with an astounding second and third layer of oniony excitement:



For those of you who are new to the whole onion volcano concept: the onion volcano is constructed as shown above, and then oil--or maybe it's vinegar--is poured into the hole at the top and proceeds to sizzle rapidly on the hot hibachi surface, casing a stream of steam to rush forth from the mouth of the volcano. Awesome to the nth degree.

Awesome is a word that tossed around pretty liberally. Like in the case of this "awesome" decorative piece that Arthur brought into the office yesterday:



Dead alien babies are awesome.

Two great tastes that taste great together

The following list is comprised of pairs of things that go together very well indeed. Why, you ask? Why not?

Magnum, P.I. and Tropicana pizza
(that's pizza with curry, bananas, ham, and mushrooms):
This combination is best experience when laying on a mattress on the floor of your--or a friend's--dorm room, watching re-runs of Magnum--with Swedish subtitles if at all possible--and sharing the above mentioned Swedish junk food delicacy. (I'm not kidding, There are dozens of weird Swedish pizza toppings and combinations, including, but not limited to, fried eggs and prawns. There's an interesting blog post about it here and here.)

Chocolate and Cheese:
Acceptable variations include:
1. Hostess cupcakes and EZ Cheese
2. Convenience store brownies and the spready cheese from Handi-Snacks cheese n' crackers
3. Ritz Bitz cheese sandwich crackers and chocolate frosting from a can

Knitting and Network Crime Dramas:
If you're not a knitter, you may substitute needle point, crosstitch, pant-leg-hemming, crocheting, or any other form of hand-help fiber arts. Recommended combinations:
1. Law & Order: Criminal Intent & a ribbed, grass green scarf
2. CSI Miami & and a turquoise remote control cozy
3. Las Vegas (well I think it's a crime drama) and a tangerine faux-letterman dog sweater

Marc Summers and Gary Sinise:
'Cause I said so.

It's OK--it's part of a balanced breakfast

Don't let anyone tell you I'm not a festive person. I began celebrating St. Patrick's Day at 6:30 am with a generous bowl of Lucky Charms--but not just any Lucky Charms. New CHOCOLATE Lucky Charms . Chocolate! I fell for that gimmick, hook, line, and sinker. But the marshmallows were all weird. If I remember correctly, an I believe I do, Lucky Charms always had marshmallows shaped like pink hearts, orange stars, yellow moons, green clovers, and blue diamonds. I watch enough cartoons to have seen the commercials for new marshmallows over the years; I'm fully aware of purple horseshoes and even red balloons. But these Chocolate Lucky Charms had none of the above mentioned original marshmallow shapes, save for a bastardized green clover (it was some weird sort of multi-colored, clover-inside-a-clover deal). No pink hearts (although there were pink lumps of some sort. Maybe they were supposed to be hearts. I don't know.). No orange stars. No yellow moons. No blue diamonds. I was, and am, thoroughly disappointed. I'll have to do some scientific research to see if this marshmallow epidemic has infiltrated regular lucky charms as well.

I don't even like the marshmallows in marshmallow cereals. The have the consistency of chalk when I bite on them, so I suck all of the sugary goodness out of them instead. But I couldn't resist the chocolate factor, and, well, it is St. Patrick's Day. Normally, when I need to satisfy my need for sugary cereal, I go straight for the Cocoa Puffs. I am, one could say, coo-coo for Cocoa Puffs.

Of course, these cereals were never allowed in our home when I was a child. My mom's favorite rule: "If one of the first three ingredients is sugar, you can't have it." She might as well have said we couldn't have it if one of the first three ingredients was "fun." Thank goodness for Cheerios. But my mom totally put her money where her mouth was, and regularly ground up fresh walnuts and mixed them with honey to put on our cereal, and voila: home made honey-nut Cheerios. Let's see that stupid cartoon bee do that.

"You want me to put my hand where?!"

I've decided I'm going to start doing that super cool blogger thing where instead of saying people's names, I'll just use their first initials. Because the people I know are so important that their privacy could be destroyed by being mentioned by name on my uber popular blog. Right. To be sure, I probably shouldn't have mentioned M.'s first, middle and last names on my post the other day (heh heh, oops. sorry 'bout that, M.). But then again, I suppose I do a lot of stuff I shouldn't do, and on a surprisingly regular basis, too ( I own 2 ponchos purchased within the last 12 months...and Max warned me about both of them.).

But there's one person who doesn't need to be cloaked by a dumb initial shield-my Mom! Neat how that worked out. Well, she sends me all kinds of emails, but this has to be the crowning jewel of the bunch.



I love my Mom.

I boldly go places.

I'm feeling rather hopeful today. It must be the spring-like weather we had over the weekend. That, combined with learning new skills (knitting, touch-typing, and Hebrew classes) make me feel optimistic about my ability to adapt to our changing environment. This is an incredibly important ability, especially because I am, like, so getting old. Yesterday, I got so fed up with the loud and ridiculous "music" that was being blared in the hip n' cool section of Macy's that I had to leave--without purchasing anything. And when Max and I were at Safeway buying cheese and German beer to make Rachel Ray's 30 minute Cheese and German Beer Fondue, the cashier asked for Max's ID, while he said to me,"I don't need to see yours. You're old enough."

But I'm not bothered. Because I can adapt to my changing environment, as evidenced by my newly acquired knitting, touch-typing, and Hebrew-speaking skills.

Here's me looking optimistic:

The Reason for the Season

Do you know what season has begun? No, not baseball season--I don't fall for any of that malarkey. And not half-off-Valentine's-candy season either, although you're getting warmer.

It's easter candy season!!



More specifically, it's Cadbury Creme Egg season. Mmmmm, choco-ovo perfection. And there's nothing quite as cute as my cat attacking one of those little plush, clucking Cadbury bunny toys. What a sight to see. (I'll try my best to get some photo journalistic evidence of the preceding statement up here in the next few weeks.)

Coming soon: The Reason for the Season, part 2--Cadbury Mini Eggs. Oh, drool.

(Editor's note: For those of you who care to know, this post was typed in its entirety by using my new skill-in-training: touch-typing. No peeking! And it only took about 20 minutes to type.)

Happy Holidays from The Planning Shop!

The Planning Shop held it's annual Holiday Lunch today. We enjoyed a fabulous feast at PF Chang's, including an order of The Great Wall of Chocolate for dessert. How could we not? True to form, our annual Holiday Party won't be held until sometime around March or April.

A Day in the Life of The Planning Shop, Part 1

Who among us hasn't wondered what happens behind the scenes at The Planning Shop? To quench your collective thirst for knowledge, please enjoy the following photographic representation of a typical-ish day at The Planning Shop (granted, this was last week when the weather was still stellar.):



This is our beautiful building in downtown Palo Alto. The changing colors of the ivy is amazing; no picture could do it justice. Throughout the day, we get 2 kinds of visitors: the kind who bring boxes and take boxes away, and the kind who ask, "Is this the Chamber of Commerce?" It was once the Chamber of Commerce, but hasn't been for a while. This is now the Chamber of Commerce. Between the people asking for maps, the people thinking they're arriving at a meeting, and the random crazy person, sometimes it makes me want to keep the front door closed. But the sunlight and fresh air are totally worth the interruptions.



Hunter-gatherers, each and every one of us. At approximately 4:00 pm, everyday, one of us will walk the block and a half to Long's to procure chocolate and diet soda for everyone. Nanna likes to come along, of course, especially when the street is ripe with squirels. And lately, it's been super ripe.

I'll post part 2 eventually. I can't say when, but I can say with some amount of certainty that it will feature our fax machine, my snowglobe collection, the halloween decorations, and Arthur's famous pig-in-a-pencil-gripper sculpture. So don't touch that dial!

The new kid on the block

Mmmm, toasty...they got a pepper bar! (If you never saw that wonderful commercial, you can play it in this article. Wonderful.)

Someone's in the kitchen

I don't cook much. I like to bake, but not so much with the cooking. That's why it was a super big deal when Leor and I cooked dinner last night for 5 members of our familes (his folks, my folks, and my brother Paul who was in town from Brooklyn to watch the A's lose.). Among other things, we cooked this Wasabi Chicken, oh my lord it was tasty. So if you're feeling kitchen happy, and you're looking for an excuse to open the sake you got as a housewarming gift nearly a year ago, this may be the recipe for you!