Only if they invent animal-gluten-sugar-alchohol-caffeine-free bacon

A couple weeks ago, Max and I decided to stop eating meat for a little while. We are not, however, totally nuts, so we kept seafood on the menu. To go from being carnivorous monsters to all out vegetarian so quickly would surely shock our fragile systems, sending us into a deadly tailspin of tofu and brown rice.

A couple of weeks ago. Feels like a damn eternity. And when Max reads this post, he will become aware of the fact that there may have been just a *teensy* bit of cheating up in Portland, but he'll still love me. Because he knows how hard it's been for me to give up turkey sandwiches. Ahem.

It's actually been pretty great. Not great eating or tasting (although not horrible by any means), but great feeling. Like I can actually do something different and leave my comfort zone. But the reality is, I'm not leaving my comfort zone. I'm leaving my bacon-steak-turkey comfort zone and settling nicely into my pasta-cheese-pie-potato-chip comfort zone. And how, exactly, does that involve important things like "doing the right thing" or "being a better person" or "living more healthfully?" Granted, not eating animals (except fish, yes) is all of these things. In fact, this whole challenge started when we watched Babe recently (who knew bacon was so damn cute??). But It hasn't given me the sense of hope and accomplishment that I thought it would, the hope that I could loose some goddamn weight and that I could have more energy and that I could feel better about myself. It's hard to have hope for these things when dinner has 3 different types of (delicious) full fat cheeses in it and and a quarter cup of brown sugar. So I like my pasta sauce sweet, you wanna make something of it?

Then Dooce and Mighty Girl jumped on the Oprah train and I'll be darned if I'm not thinking about trying this 21 day cleanse thing, too. Minus the meditation and visualization. Cause that's not how I roll.

Of course, all of this comes up right when I'm getting ready to start giving meat to the baby. If I can't have turkey sandwiches or bacon, I'll make sure he gets all of the turkey sandwiches and bacon in the world.