Showing posts with label sock removal. Show all posts
Showing posts with label sock removal. Show all posts

Wednesday, January 16, 2008

Vote No on Prop 124-B: The Sock Enforcement Proposition

This message was paid for by the Council for No Socks, the Sock Reformation Board and the Foundation for a Sockless Tomorrow and approved by the Babyville Department of Socks and Sock Removal.

The time has come to rise up against the tyranny of foot confinement! It was bad enough when our parents imposed the Toe Restriction Act of 2007 (TRA) which required feet to be enclosed within socks or footy pajamas nearly 100% of the time. The TRA was unfair and unjust then, and it's unfair and unjust now, almost three months later. We've all heard the promises from our "loving" parents: "Just wait until Summer, sweetie. Then you can have bare feet. It's just too cold right now." Do they think we're stupid? Do they think we've never heard of global warming?

The TRA was bad enough. But now they're taking it too far. The Sock Enforcement Proposition will allow parents to require us to wear SHOES over our socks, further restricting our right to bear feet. If this proposition passes, the efforts of the Toe Liberation Front will be effectively cut in half, and all actions taken on behalf of toes and feet everywhere to quickly and repeatedly remove socks will be halted as we figure a new way to remove these damn shoes first.

All hope is not lost. Great strides have been made in ongoing studies of the removal of many types of footwear, and new studies are being funded into the prevention of footwear in general. The maniacal-kicking-to-reduce-footy-pajama-usage study has been underway for over a week now, and the results appear to be promising. One of our field operatives has sent in this photo, which we believe to be undoctored:



This is proof positive that shoe prevention is possible. Together, we can prevent the spread of this injustice. Together, we can end the use of socks and shoes in our lifetime. Together, we can free our toes from their socky prison and let them breathe fresh air as god intended.

Remember, vote NO on PROP 124-B. If the shoe fits, kick it off.

Wednesday, December 26, 2007

Memo from Babyville that I didn't get

OFFICIAL BABYVILLE MEMO

To: All Babies

Re: Socks

Importance: High

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Dear Baby,

By now, you will have noticed that your parents insist on putting socks on your feet. It is imperative that you do everything in your power to remove the socks. Please be advised that removal of socks normally results in the immediate re-installation of socks. Should this be the case with your situation, do not become discouraged. Simply remove the socks again. Repeat as necessary.

One Babyland field agent has submitted this tip regarding successful sock removal: wait until the parent lays you down somewhere--your crib, vibrating infant chair, gymini play mat, anywhere will do--and places a blanket over you. In this scenario, you can remove the socks undetected. While sock re-installation continues to be unavoidable, using the blanket as cover can usually extend the period of socklessness.

Remember, socks should be removed from feet at all costs. It is your duty as a baby to fight the sock movement. Together, we can end socks in our lifetime. Thank you for your prompt attention to this matter.

Sincerely,

The Department of Socks and Sock Removal

CC: The Department of Hats and Hat Removal