Dear Jerk Store,
I'm sorry to bother you, but I think I received a delivery this morning that I did not order. It consisted of one super shitty commute, and included a complete lack of space and consideration from other drivers. I did not request the incessant tailgating, nor did I ask to be cut off repeatedly. I'm pretty sure I would remember if I had ordered the last-minute lane changers without signals. Please be sure to credit my Happy Morning account with one dozen drivers who wave "thank you" when you let them in, three boxes of awesome 10 at 10's on the KFOG HD station, and one box of every light between Alameda and 280 being green. I appreciate your support!