And ended it like this:
It went down like this: the boy lost his third tooth yesterday, and I--being the undisputed champion of mothers--I completely screwed up and FORGOT TO TRADE HIS TOOTH OUT FOR CASH. This is for sure the worst fuck up I've had in a while, and when my kid came to my bed at 4:36 this morning to plainly state, "Mommy, the tooth fairy did not come. She didn't trade out my tooth." well I just about lost it. In a stroke of luck, he decided to go potty so I jumped into action and lightning quick grabbed my wallet, pulled out a $5 bill and exchanged it with the tiny tooth under his pillow. I got back in bed, and 15 seconds later he ran into my room and excitedly reported that the tooth fairy had come!
And she brought him a $20 bill!
Palm, meet forehead.