Why yes, I am better than most people.

Tonight I'm going to the Giants game at SBC Park (read: going out for garlic fries) with my dad. SBC Park really is a beautiful stadium, very olde tyme and retro. It's also one of the few places that really makes you feel special if you're a premium ticket holder.

Most places charge you an extra 20 bucks per ticket for what amounts to nothing but a better, closer view of the team/band/show. You still have to wait in line, you still have to circle around on the endless parking search. When we saw Mates of State at Slim's, we bought premium tickets, which included dinner, only because those were the only tickets left. Slim's did a great job at making us feel, well, premium. Even our seats were elevated above all of the regular, common folk, the general admission ticket holders. Because we were better than, and our tickets proved it.

SBC Park shows its reverence for its premium ticket holders by providing some basic necessities, but with a little more oomph. The food in the Club Level, as it's called, is all around better (the garlic fires are available to all ticket holders, don't worry). You can actually find a salad there, which is a pleasant escape from the delicious but oh-so-greasy hot dogs found in the "regular" section of the park. There are 2 full bars--because I don't know about you, but by the bottom of the 5th inning, I could kill for a gin and tonic. Plus, the Club Level provides a glass window-enclosed viewing area for when the fog rolls in and the wind picks up and it gets really cold. (Anyone who's spent a summer evening in San Francisco knows what I'm talking about. For those of you who haven't experienced the anomaly of weather that is San Francisco, it's almost May and I'm knitting a scarf. For immediate usage.)

But here's the real kicker, that extra mile that the Giants go in order to make its premium ticket holders feel the love: the center portions of the toilet seat covers are pre-separated. That is to say, instead of punching out the center portion along the perforations, like you would in any other public restroom, simply pull up, then pull down, and place on toilet seat. SBC Park and your San Francisco Giants have done the rest. But only for our premium Club Level ticket holders. Everyone else has to remove the center of their own ass gaskets.

Unless you know how to sneak into the Club Level.