Insert theme music from 'Jaws' here

It's almost here, despite those crap-ass jerseys.

Borrowed Post and My Growing Family

Well, stolen really.



Very funny, Clamhead.

Tonight: OUR LAST FREAKING PRENATAL CLASS, thank freaking god. I can't handle any more information or superlatives ("This is the most important child care tip you will ever learn." "Swaddling is the best way to calm a crying baby." "At least half an hour of skin-to-skin contact immediately after delivery is the only thing that will stop your baby from growing up to be the next Adolph Hitler.") Tonight's class is Breastfeeding Basics. Predictably, Max and I are more excited about the Dim Sum place next door to the education center than we are about the class itself. Mmmmmm, cha siu bao...

Important announcement! Trick has a little person to nibble on! Welcome to the family, my very first niece!

Updates on all fronts

Animals:

Nanna got her stitches removed, and the incision promptly filled up will fluid, making a jiggly tennis-ball sized lump of goo. The vet assured me today that this is OK, drained it, and told me to massage the incision site twice daily to avoid fluid deposits. At which point, I swear to god, Nanna looked up at me and smiled.

Miru gets to stay unmedicated for another 6 months, at which point he is gets another cardiogram ("cardiogram" always makes me think of "candygram" which always makes me think of the land shark routine from SNL. And now it also makes me think of this.) to check his rate of deterioration. Fine by me.

Milhouse gets louder and friendlier every day. Has taken to sleeping in laundry baskets full of freshly washed baby clothes.

Ozzy continues to fart frequently. Sigh. Has mastered the art of hogging a California King sized bed. Sigh.

Married life:

Just over one month old. It's great! Both the Social Security office and the DMV were very helpful when I changed my name, and customer service representatives keep congratulating me when I call them to order new cards, checks, what have you.

Samson:

Terrific! We've definitely moved into that super uncomfortable phase of pregnancy where sleep is hard to come by and food must be consumed in small quantities because there's no room in my body for anything but a baby, let alone a full order of garlic mashed potatoes form Black Angus. We won't go into how little room there is for my bladder or it's contents. I did have to make a little trip to the emergency room Friday night when I sliced the bejesus out of my thumb while chopping onions. The thumb's fine, but the tetanus shot they gave me still kills. The ER doctor promised me that the tetanus shot wouldn't cause Samson to be born with horns or wings (although how cool would that be?), and I came to a concrete decision regarding the epidural. I don't like pain at all. I've been whiny and cranky and mopey for the last three days, and I swear my arm is going to fall off or explode at any second. Not to mention my ginsued thumb. Ow.

So all in all, things are good if not a little whiny. Coming soon: something hopefully a little more interesting than this kind of stuff.

Flight of the Conchords: the Bowie Episode

The jury's still way out on Flight of the Conchords. I liked the first couple of episodes OK, but lost interest pretty quickly, especially with the whole moving back the US thing. I had other things on my mind besides TV (shocking!). But I happened to catch the episode where one of the characters, Bret (half of the New Zealand folk duo on whose fictional lives the show is based), is having body image issues, and gets visited by David Bowie in his dreams who gives him deliciously cryptic advice. Bowie is expertly played by the actor who plays Jermaine, the other half of the duo. Behold:



Deliciously freaky, man.

I know somethin' about birthin' some babies

And folks, let me tell you, it ain't pretty.

After nine hours of intensive childbirth preparation classes last weekend, Max and I are officially childbirth experts. That have never given birth. And we expertly know one thing: it looks hard and painful, and it will take many hours. OK, that's three things.

Seriously though, this class left me scared to deliver, which I never was before. It left me unsure of my decision to demand multiple and frequent epidurals, and it left me excited about all of the supposed foot and back massages I'll be getting.

If there are any moms or dads out there reading this post, I'd love you to weigh in. Did you (or your lady) deliver with our without pain meds? What are your experiences? Would you/did you do it the same way the second or third time? If you had an epidural, were you able to move afterwards? Was it hard to know when to push?

I do know that childbirth is natural, that women have been doing it for a very long time, and that in about 6 weeks I'll be doing it whether I want to or not. I know that everything will be just fine, and that at the end of it all, little Samson will be there all goopy and alien-like, and it will be the happiest day of my life. Duh. So I'm not concerned per se, and I'm not scared as much as I am anxious about the exact level of pain we're talking about here. I can handle anything, for I am strong like bull. I also cry when Max has to fix an ingrown toenail on my dainty little foot. So clearly, you can see my dilemma.

I'm also not too terribly concerned with preserving the "natural" experience of childbirth, or making the process seem more "medical." I will go into labor, Samson will be born, the three of us will bond, then he will start pooping and demanding an allowance. Whether I am one with the Earth Mother during this process or I have an IV sticking out of my back is of no consequence to me. Although, considering how much fun I like to make of hippies and new-age types, I'm less inclined to look down on anything that takes away from the whole birthing-from-within concept. It's OK, I'm allowed to make fun of hippies. I used to be one.

There's also no question about whether or not I can go through a non-medicated labor and birth. of course I can. The question is, do I want to?

My poor OB. My normally 7-minute long check up is going to take 45 minutes this week.

Cooking with The Ramones

As some of you know, I recently left my job at The Planning Shop. This way, I could focus on getting the wedding planned and done, and now I can prepare for Samson's immanent arrival. Then, when he gets here, I can spend my days blissfully watching my perfect sleeping baby who never cries. Or, more realistically, I can spend my days washing loads of baby laundry and scrubbing baby poop out of Ozzy's fur.

Until then, I've been finding ways to keep myself busy while Max is at work. Not imaginative ways, but in ways that are perfect for me: I've doing the things that I've meant to do for the last 3 or 4 years and never found time to do. This mostly consists of getting organized in general and completing artsy craftsy projects in particular. Vacation shadow boxes, weaving and spinning projects, massive iPod playlist creations, photo organizing, and the like.

And cooking! I've cooked something ridiculous like 5 dinners in the last 2 weeks. And they mostly didn't suck. I've been baking too, and I've got a new favorite ingredient: music. I've been on a down-swing in my musical ebb and flowiness for the past few years, and it seems to have finally dissipated. For the first time in a long time, I've been choosing music over TV for alone in the house company. Which means that I got to listen to kick ass Ramones songs while chopping walnuts for the apple honey cake I made for tonight's Rosh Hashanah dinner. It also means I've been watching a lot less TV lately. Of course, Max and I still have our shows that we watch together (have you seen Showtime's new series, Californication? That David Duchovny is something else.), and I've never been one to turn down a mid-day Law & Order marathon, but for the most part the TV stays off during the day.

Now, if I can ever get my hands on a Wii, that could all change.

First Crush

I just love this video.



Nanna is healing nicely; stitches come out next Tuesday. Still waiting on Miru's test results. Milhouse tried to eat my granola this morning. Ozzy still smells questionable. Samson is preparing for the world soccer championship, or maybe some kind of martial arts contest. Either way, he's sure to being home the gold.

In other words, not much is happening around here lately, which is good. I'm getting a little more tired every day, and I'm training for the napolympics. I'm hoping to get sponsored by Sealy or Mattress Discounters.

Shower Me

Rosa and my mom's friend Maureen threw me an awesome baby shower over the weekend. It was terrific--games, food, gifts--and cake! My mom made a wonderful cake that actually had ARGYLE on it. How cool is that? 400 cool, of course. Maybe even 450.

It was a great mix of people and a lovely way to spend a Sunday afternoon. Then I got to spend the next 2 days washing tiny baby outfits in Dreft and putting together baby toys and stuff. I think the next 6 1/2 weeks are going to be pretty cool--I'm in full on nesting mode now. I even tried to fold the cat. It didn't work.

Lumpdate

Nanna is out of surgery and slowly recovering. Miru's heart may or may not be safe for another year. Ozzy most likely has nothing more than a lump on his tummy. Oh, and gingivitis.

We won't know 100% for sure whether or not the cancer in Nanna's lump has spread beyond the bits reoved in her surgery until next week, but the doctor felt pretty confident that she got everything. Even then, there's nothing that says the same cancerous cells won't show up in some other tumors a few months down the road. But for now, she's lying on the living room floor, more zonked out than I've ever seen her before, with another one of those frankendog looking row of stitches running up from her belly to her side. The doc says that this recover will take longer than her previous ones because they had to take a good chunk of muscle out off of her rib (again), plus she's a bit older this time around (11 years old at the end of this month!). Poor, poor dear.

Miru's heart murmur is a clue that he will eventually develop this cat condition that has a crappy symptom: sudden death. But because it was caught before his heart exploded, we can monitor it as time goes by and get him on medication before there's any manifestation of physical symptoms (like suddenly dropping dead). The question is just when he goes on the medication, and the today's cardiogram should give us the answer to that question by next week. Of course, I wouldn't be surprised if the side effects of said medication are hair loss, incontinence and kitty dementia. He's fine tonight, except for the fact that he's being tortured by his cruel captors who keep him locked in a townhouse when by all rights he should be roaming the streets of Foster City till the wee hours.

Ozzy basically got jealous of all of the attention Nanna was getting regarding her lump, so he said "Look, look! I gots a lump too! Can I have some turkey now?" If any dog could will himself to have a small, non-cancerous, turkey-getting lump, it's the Oz. But We're glad he's OK (comparatively).

Human health: Samson and I had our 32 week check-up today (what, only the pets get to go to the doctor today?), and we are practically perfect in every way. Seriously. I love this doctor because he says things like that. Our fundus is the right hight (31 centimeters), our blood pressure is just right (some bigger number over some other smaller number), and our weight is just right (yeah, as if I'm going to post that here). Hearts beat as they should, movement is present and regular, everything is normal and A-OK. I love it! Now if only they doctor could do something about this heat wave so I could get some sleep...

Trickle pictures

Photos from the wedding are trickling in, like this one from Max's Aunt and Uncle. It's great to see the wedding from all these different perspectives. I'm planning on uploading one more album to Picasa Web, probably a few weeks from now once I've gotten more pictures from people. Stay tuned!

Another Lump for Nanna

And this one's another cancerous tumor. But thanks to constant belly rubs and our daily post-breakfast love fest, I found it really early and the vet thinks it will be no problem to remove the whole thing and get good margins on Thursday. The same day Miru goes in for his echo-cardio-thingy to check the status of his heart murmur. We'll probably have to go in even earlier in the week because we found another lump last night, this one on Ozzy's belly. His first lump. My first 3-animal medical crisis week. Plus, when Miru got out last week, he brought home some fleas. Yay.

But not all news is sick animal news. Some of it is expecting friend news! LDB up in Portland is growing a little friend in her belly for Samson to play with! How cool is that! Four hundred cool.

The portrait shots from the wedding are up on Picasa Web. There are still some digital photos and a few quick cams to handle, but I think we're mostly set on picture posting.

The Wedding Album: Part 1

Doesn't that make it sound like Max and I are in a band and we've recorded an album? I tell you, if we ever do form a band, we're ready. We've got a list of dozens of great band and album names. Band name case in point: Fat Like Esther Lerner. And it's got the perfect tiny story behind it so we'll have something funny to say to Letterman in the 7.5 seconds available for chatting after we play on the show. Who cares if we don't really know any instruments?

The first batch of wedding photos are up on Picasa Web. They're mostly from the disposable cameras that we handed out to everyone for use during the weekend, plus there are a few form some of the family's digitals. So I can't really claim responsibility for any of them--and there are some truly stellar shots up there. I may be organized, but I'm not that organized, so they're not really in any particular order. But they're good to the last drop.

Happiness is Teal Blue Cream Cheese Frosting

It's a well known fact that I can't cook. At least, it's well known to the people who have listened to me complain about how I can't cook. Can't explain why, and it's not like I haven't tried to learn and people haven't tried to teach me. Although I think it has something to do with patience, timing, and trust. Every so often, I'll whip out a totally edible dish. And I'm just fine at chopping vegetables and preparing ingredients so that Max can cook something totally tasty--Max, by the way, never uses recipes or measuring spoons. He actually knows how to season to taste. I'm impressed every time.

But I can bake. Nothing super fancy, but I can make cakes and cookies and frostings and tasty treats like peach tartine. I can make pies and rugaleh. I can also make the dessert of the hour, cupcakes. If desserts have personalities, cupcakes are the San Francisco hipster who live in the Mission or Hayes Valley and have all of the cutest bags and shoes. Oddly, I don't hate them for that. Cupcakes were deserving of my adoration long before I painfully discovered the concept of "cool," and I will be baking and eating cupcakes long after pirates go out of fashion and cupcake shops stop popping up all over Manhattan.

The cupcakes I made on Sunday were moist and yellow, and topped with pale teal blue cream cheese frosting. They were not diet friendly or low-anything, and they were delicious. I think I'll go have one right now.

My boyfriend and I went to Gualala and all I got was this new last name

I'm still too overwhelmed to give a really good report of the wedding. We're back in Foster City and getting to see a lot of our out-of-town friends and family one last time before they return to their homes. And then there's all of the Ikea furniture that poor Max has to build. Poor, poor Max.

I'm expecting there to be 1,000 + pictures when all is said and done, so it will be a while before I get an album up on Picasa Web. I know, tortuous. I thought I'd post a few of the real good ones to tide you all over, but it's too hard to choose. But here's a photo of one of the best parts of the weekend:



Mmmmmmm, she smells like taffy.

I'm still reeling from the whole thing. The weather was amazing, and it was a really terrific group of near and dear ones. Small enough to still be intimate, but big enough to be undoubtedly festive. We really got to use the whole 3 days to catch up and spend quality time with both friends and family. And even though we pretty much broke just about every rule the Sea Ranch has, it was a virtually stress free weekend and wedding. Which still totally amazes me.

The dogs were SO WELL BEHAVED, thanks in no small part to LDB and Heffe who spent a lot of time tiring them out with hikes and stick fetching in the ocean while Max and I meeted and greeted and went on our seemingly endless rounds. It was also a grand opportunity for everyone to meet Samson, by way of touching my belly and making baby talk to it (I'm not complaining--it was freaking awesome.). Samson liked it too, as evidenced by his kicking and movement pattern becoming totally ramped up over the weekend.

The ceremony itself went off utterly hitchless, and my hair looked so damn good thanks to MEH and her magic hands. I won't lie to you; tears were shed, although no vows were flubbed. And Ozzy decided that he would do his patented back-scratch-rolling maneuver in a nice patch of sunny grass, center stage of the chuppah, about half way through the ceremony. Which was, of course, totally freaking adorable.

Then there was the food. And the parties. And the BBQ. And the volleyball. And the beachy sunsets. This will definitely take a few installments.

dks

I'm back from the wedding, complete with a new last name! How exciting. I won't say much in this post, as I am totally and utterly exhausted, but I will say that it was THE PERFECT WEEKEND and everything went wonderfully. It was the best wedding ever, and we have the best friends and families and dogs ever. Pictures and musings shortly. Big ups to my ridiculously helpful friends from Portland, San Antonio, San Carlos, Brooklyn, Minneapolis, and beyond.

Take my sanity, please

Wow, it's really almost time for the wedding. Family and friends started arriving from out of town today, and the chaos has begun. It won't be in full swing until the middle of next week, and by then, I do believe I will have gone bananas. Once the actual celebration starts on Friday, I'll be nothing but smiles--surrounded by friends and family with no prep left to do. But this week it's kind of overwhelming, getting the finishing touches on seating arrangements, flowers, and various bits and bobs. Even for such a small wedding, there are so many little details! And I suppose we didn't have to move into a new place during the same week. Or buy a new car. Or a new bed.

It's been challenging, but it's totally worth it. I am SO EXCITED for this wedding, and I love love love our new place. The transition from Dublin to Foster City has actually gone really smoothly. We kind of treated it like how one treats swimming in Fall Creek in Oregon: close your eyes, hold your breath, and jump in. Then pray as hard as you can that your lungs don't seize up from the freezing cold water. If you just stick your toe in before you jump, you'll never succeed. It's all or nothing, and this week has been an all week.

Other news: my good buddy Tiny Trousers appears to be on the mend! We here at Extra Super Fantastic wish her and her mom all the best.

Life in HD

So here I am, sitting in my new home, blogging from my new laptop, watching our new HDTV, 2 clean dogs curled up next to me. You could say I had a real good weekend. The new place is awesome; it's really coming together nicely. We had 2 sets of extremely helpful parents on hand, and everyone was just great. I've never moved in and unpacked so quickly before, including our marathon trip to Ikea and Best Buy on Sunday morning. and not to mention the fact that I can't actually lift anything! It may not be San Francisco, but it feels really good.

Let's just not discuss the fact that it's now less than 2 weeks until the wedding. Gulp.

Off to the dog park now--these hounds deserve a reward for their good behavior.

New digs

No more apartments for us. Oh, no, we're moving on up. To a townhouse. Mmmm, fancy. We found a nice place in a nice neighborhood that is, sadly, not in San Francisco. We'll be in the proper burbs, where we can afford a yard and a garage and more toilets than you can shake a stick at. Max's commute will be cut in half which will give more time to run around fetching me things like McDonald's french fries and obscure imported root beer. Lucky, lucky, Max.

Expect hilarious anecdotes of moving and going through our storage unit in the near future. and maybe some pictures of the new place. To hold you over for now, here are some pictures of the time a few weeks ago when I went to the Kwik-E Mart in Mountain View with Rosa and Dave.

Coming up for air

Mmmmmmm, a conglomoration of life changing events and it's not even August yet. Weddings. Babies. Returning to the US. A dog with an inferiority complex. Finding a home. New job. Old job. Let me say again that I AM NOT COMPLAINING, I am simply making excuses for my lack of blogging. This is so much fun, and I love being home and seeing my family and the weather--holy crap this weather. Long live global warming. Just rest assured that my usually more-frequent-than-this blogging schedule has been usurped by dresses, veils, flowers, bassinets, cake, and a crazy mixed up shepherd. And occasionl cat-naps in the sun.

Medium sized update

So I went up to the Sea Ranch for 3 days last week to get my bearings in regards to the wedding. The wedding that's in exactly one month. Ahem.

The verdict: boy did we pick the right place to start the rest of our lives together. Thanks to mom and dad's scouting skills and their intrepid ability to test fancy restaurants for us in our absence, the food will match the beauty and the intensity that is the Northern California coast and redwoods. And that's really what a wedding is all about, right?

Once again, I'm torn by how happy we are to have a nice, simple, intimate (aka "small") ceremony, one that's more or less devoid of stress and time-intensive decisions about tablecloths and seating arrangements, and my desire to share this wonderful place and this wonderful event with all of my nearest and dearest. Thankfully, our friends and family understand, and they support our decision. And that makes me feel less torn.

On to the story of Ozzylocks and the Three Deer. Well, there's no story really. There were these three deer grazing outside our house, and Ozzy watched them and made deeply primal growly noises. As if, Oz. They have horns, buddy. Horns.



Nanna, of course, had more important things to worry about. Like all of these sticks! Who left all of these sticks lying around here?? How am I supposed to fetch ALL OF THESE STICKS???



Other business: Max will be home in 2 short weeks! The movers will come to pack up the rest our belongings in Dublin in a week or so, then I get my best friend back, my bringer of milkshakes and not-so-secret Degrassi TNG watching pal. Life is good.

Other other business: the AIDS Walk went really, really well last Sunday. Extra super fantastic THANK YOUs to everyone who supported me by donating. I met my fundraising goal, and was able to take part in something really special and helpful to my community. I walked the whole 10K with team captain Laura and her dad, not to mention my four-legged cohorts. Oz and Nanna did splendidly, and were incredible tuckered out by the end of the weekend--three days chasing sticks in the ocean, multiple trips to the dog park, and one heck of a long walk through a fog-filled Golden Gate Park. I think they've finally forgiven me for leaving them for a year.