Rocky's Choice: Day 3

Three unexpected or less obvious things that are direct results of eating healthy, which I have been doing for about three months now:

1. The amount of food I used to eat in one meal at Benihana now lasts for three meals.

2. My pee is always bright yellow from all the vitamins I take.

3. I'm less likely to give junk food to Samson since I won't be able to partake.

Answering my own question

Will 2013 be the year that Extra Super Fantastic finally awakens from its long and often troubled sleep?

There has been an awful lot of tossing and turning during the Great Blog Nap of 2010-2012. But there were also a great many wonderful dreams, and I will once again try to create sentences that accurately represent the weirdness and wonderality in which I live...like back in the olden days when I wore my Blogger sweatshirt with pride. I know you've stuck by me, dear internet, and I fully intend to repay you in spades. As a peace offering, please accept this picture of a mouse that I found when I searched Google images for "genuine apology."

See you soon!

I mean it.

No, really!

Stop looking at me like that.

haiku thursday

it's been so, so long.
can't remember the last time
that I blogged at work.

the tiny goslings
are now giant, stinky geese.
they poop everywhere.


turkey sandwich sleeps.
curled up in an old dog bed.
a great place to work.


aw, good old KFOG!
10 at 10 was '88.
they might be giants!

not that there's anything wrong with that

By the way, that baby chicken in the photo in the previous post is called Two Cheeps, and by the time we got back from camping, she had turned into a boy. Hmm.

Way up north

Samson & I are having a great time in Portland. We're heading to Bend tomorrow with friends to camp in the Three Sisters area for the week. Such great friends, such great weather, amazing luck and all around summer vacation-y-ness. The playlist is supreme and the photo album is already brimming with winners. Such as:

Happy Monday

Beautiful weather continues, an adorable 2 year old and collecting pretty pods on a nature walk. Yay!

haiku wednesday

I want to eat food.
mostly the kind that's no good.
mmmm, butterfinger.

max is in texas.
san antonio, but wait
there is no basement.

the last day of  school.
big party--hot dogs, music.
we'll miss our school friends.

time to watch tv.
will it be law & order?
it's on TNT.

Sitting in the waiting room

All I could think about was how hard it was to think. I imagine my brain is like a water weenie that's filled with baked beans or polenta, and nothing can ever be in a solid state. I can't hold on to a memory or an idea long enough to recall it, and the things I can focus on are gooshy. It's moderately difficult to form an educated opinion based upon fact, and very hard to later on remember why I had chosen that position. One of the results of this state of being is that I am absurdly awkward at social events. And I'm about to enter the ultimate world of awkward social events--elementary school. Well, the kiddo, not me, but it comes with the whole package: PTA, volunteer stuff, fundraising, etc. And it's k-8 so these are quite likely our community for the 9 years minimum. Or at least I hope so. Let's all keep our fingers crossed and see if i can keep my social ineptitude at bay.

Also, I had a clean scan yesterday. Not as clean as previous scans, but the spot that dr. Clarke found last april hadn't changed at all--no growth or anything like that. No more scans until September...after kindergarten starts.

haiku wednesday

I love my laptop.
It it small, black, and brand new.
It is a PC.

Kid got a haircut!
I can hardly tell it's him.
He's nearly a man.

Threw Max a party.
All of the guests wore his face!
It was kind of weird.

Turkey is the best.
Although I miss the old dogs
she brings my soul joy.

Check me out! Big shot!
My feet are moving forward.
(The feet in my brain.)

OK, Mom, I blogged.
Thanks for the pushy email.
I mean, like, really.

Big Ass Moon

Kiddo and I went backpacking with some friends last weekend. It's been 12 years since my last backpacking trip, and this was the kiddo's first camping trip as someone with with a brain capable of creating viable memories. In broad terms, it was successful. There were a few freak outs, and definitely more dangerous bugs than I'm used to seeing in any given 24 hour period. But there was also a Mega Moon.

I tend to do things half-assedly in general, so I when I read the brief email from our camping pals earlier in the week about the mega moon, I didn't actually click the link that would explain to me what a mega moon actually, in fact, was. No, instead, I took what my brain decided a mega moon was and mixed it with some random (and, more likely than not, imaginary) statistic and came out with a variety of outlandish claims ti attach to the impending mega moon.

"You know, the moon's supposed to be the brightest it's been in like 900 years or something."

"Oh yeah, the mega moon is going to be closer than it's been since the year Haley's Comet was last here."

"There's only a mega moon once every 27 years."

Despite my lack of ability to speak the truth (generally speaking), we all enjoyed the massively mega moon. The kiddo really dug sleeping outdoors, which was helpful considering that the tent didn't stay entirely upright the whole night. Regardless, to quote the little dude, "It was the best night ever in my whole life." It was great to be reminded how much I love camping.

Top 5 Formative Things That I Need to Instill into the Kiddo While He's Still Spongy

1. the Beatles
2. dogs
3. drums
4. duets
5. collecting

power through

how on earth did nearly 6 months go by without a single blog post? i'm floored! shocked! and yes, ashamed. mildly.

coyote point and number 2

At the CuriOdysssey exhibit this afternoon, all the animals were asleep. One of the bobcats was sitting in a black plastic bucket, but the pretty much everyone else was fast asleep. The raccoon, the river otters, the porcupine, the fox, the badger, the coyote...this is starting to sound like a children's book. It was cool to see all the mammal snuggling going on. We didn't spend more than a minute or two looking at bugs and bees (thank goodness). A great time was had by all. We're going to meet the same friends next week to go to the planetarium!

Day 3 of commando hardcore potty training: success phase I was fruitless. I'll take that over a poop-related accident any day!

most days I know it's not true

Laying in my clean, nicely made bed, listening to the Mountain Goats on the rdio system Max set up in the bedroom...dawn of a new musical era this week. washed, folded and put away all of the laundry in house. Picked up dry cleaning. Mailed a package to Gill. Got stuff for dinner tonight. All that's left is to put away dishes and set the dining room for shabbat.

Two weeks until Max and I leave for Disney World and then New York to meet up with Samson and the family. I am overwhelmed with excitement, desire, and the need for the 2 of us to get away. Also the need for cotton candy and root beer. And Space Mountain.

No excuses...

...except for some extreme laziness. Didn't I mention? I'm training for the lay on the sofa and watch crap TV 500. I'm hoping to get Snuggie or the E! network to sponsor me. Ahem.

Brief catchup: clean MRI in June. Samson is in summer camp. Ozzy has ESF (extremely stinky farts). I want to make out with nearly every character on Game of Thrones.

Oh! We went house boating on Lake Shasta! So amazing and awesome, I can hardly believe it was real! Great friends, great water, great times.

Coming up this summer: trips to Israel, Disney World, San Diego and upstate New York.

Still macrobiotic with a few carefully orchestrated cheat meals. Think I may have finally acquired an appreciation for Pink Floyd.

I continue to think about cancer everyday and talk about it nearly every chance I get. It defines me so much more than I'd like it to. Hopefully, with help from my awesome therapist, I'll be able to get through this whole-self-encompassing phase and move peacefully into a better, more emotionally healthy part of the rest of my life. I am much more than a cancer victim, and need those other parts of me to SPEAK LOUDLY and SHOW ME WHAT I CAN DO. And who I can be, besides a schlumpy, pitiful, self-fulfilling prophesier with her eyes shut tight and her fingers in her eyes screaming LA LA LA LA LA to keep all of the noise out.

Sigh.

So onwards and upwards!

What happened to April?

I have NO idea. I was doing fine, and then...nothing.

I started a macrobiotic program on April 1, that's been pretty damn consuming. Lots of chopping. Lots of chewing. Lot's of grinding my own fresh organic almond butter at Whole Foods. Ahem.

Had a good MRI early in the month. Samson's been home for the last 2 weeks; there was walking pneumonia and then a week off of school for passover. Can't wait till school starts back up tomorrow!

Less than 2 weeks until the Brain Tumor 5K in SF! I'm excited to see all my GBM buds and out of town pals and my in town pals, too. If you're feeling give-y, please donate to my fundraising page.

hello, april

April, so far, has been nothing but awesome weather and the world's crankiest 3 year old. Also the world's crankiest mommy, due in part to the afore mentioned child and in part to three full days of macrobiotics. Some of you would be happy to point out that macrobiotics is more than switching to whole grains over white and almond butter over Skippy. Yes, thank you for that. But ooh, gasp, I've been eating my veggies too. Mostly with hummus or goddess dressing, but still. The only thing I can't quite keep on track with is the tea. I'm supposed to be drinking 2 cups of tea a day, and I have't had any yet. I've never been a tea fan, and with this one being decaf, I'm even more inclined to "forget." But other than that, I'm keeping on track and enjoying the tuna, the quinoa and the blue agave. The lack of Carl's Jr, not so much.

Here Comes the Sun

Still on the Beatles kick. This was a very bad week for my car stereo to have been stolen. Fancy new anti-cancer diet starts tomorrow. The first item is to go directly outside and get 2 minutes of sunlight the second I wake up. It's a good thing my folks found that old Grateful Dead tape...kinda feel like I should bust out an old tie dye.

The White Album

I'm in the middle of a corrective Beatles experience. After about 4 years of avoiding the Beatles, I've been overtaken by a distant yet familiar passion, and I'm astounded by the accompanying emotions. For the last 72 hours, I've gone on a catalog-wide binge of personal favorites and these great 5 minute mini documentary videos from the iTunes store. I decided to unclick "shuffle" and listen the white album and it feels AWESOME. Like, really fucking awesome.

and his matchbox cars smell like mac 'n cheese

Let me start this post by saying that I am officially a single parent for the next 10 days.

Today, my kid fell off of:

--his tall seat at the kitchen bar.

--the sofa.

--my bed.

--the aero bed that we're "camping" on upstairs.

--the toilet.

waiting and anticipating

Watching the Sharks score 4 goals in the first period and still hardly holding a lead. At least I'm not at the game like Max, poor sucker. Although pizza he get, to be sure.

I had my initial phone interview with the Block Center today. After this coming Friday's scheduled call with Dr. Block himself, I should have a pretty good road map for the next as of yet undetermined period of time for how to handle this stage of cancer. I'm in the weird, anxiety-ridden, hazy stage where the tumor--according to my 2-month MRI/MRS cycle--is not getting bigger, I'm not taking chemo or getting radiation but I'm still draining that insipid crap through and out of my system, and I'm getting my menstrual cycle back. Just to name a few of the minor annoyances. The real hard part is being stuck between really sick, like, dying sick, and dead. Because in between treatment and death, as luck would have it, is a whole mess of grumpy. I feel fine, I can eat like a horse, sleeping enough to put a newborn baby to shame, can almost win an arm crossing contest with Samson the Angry Three Year Old and I'm slowly squashing my poor husband into a fatigued pulp of a man. And I can't remember shit.

Did I mention that I'm having memory problems?