Memo from Babyville that I didn't get

OFFICIAL BABYVILLE MEMO

To: All Babies

Re: Socks

Importance: High

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Dear Baby,

By now, you will have noticed that your parents insist on putting socks on your feet. It is imperative that you do everything in your power to remove the socks. Please be advised that removal of socks normally results in the immediate re-installation of socks. Should this be the case with your situation, do not become discouraged. Simply remove the socks again. Repeat as necessary.

One Babyland field agent has submitted this tip regarding successful sock removal: wait until the parent lays you down somewhere--your crib, vibrating infant chair, gymini play mat, anywhere will do--and places a blanket over you. In this scenario, you can remove the socks undetected. While sock re-installation continues to be unavoidable, using the blanket as cover can usually extend the period of socklessness.

Remember, socks should be removed from feet at all costs. It is your duty as a baby to fight the sock movement. Together, we can end socks in our lifetime. Thank you for your prompt attention to this matter.

Sincerely,

The Department of Socks and Sock Removal

CC: The Department of Hats and Hat Removal